UNFINISHED

I swear I should wear a shirt that says “Unfinished.”  And although I guess I wouldn’t ever want to wear one that says “Finished” because that would imply that I had arrived which is most certainly NOT the case, sometimes, maybe even one time, I would like to feel like I actually completed what I set out to do.

I look around our home and see books with only chapters left to finish, devotions with the final week incomplete, skirts without hems, sketches without products, recipes without meals, supplies without projects…  My lists grow by the minute hour day but I just can’t seem to cross anything off and it’s frustrating.  Almost more so than if I were to not have the ideas at all.  I always stop RIGHT before the end goal is achieved and I have NO clue as to why.  It’s not as if the concepts and thoughts no longer hold value in fact their unfinished status haunts me at night.  Yet I can’t bring myself to cross the finish line. 

Maybe just maybe it’s because I can’t see what is beyond that line.  Perhaps I become so fixated on the process itself that when I am unable to determine the aftermath it becomes daunting.  What if I fail, what if I fall, what if I can’t.  The fear of the unknown is gripping yet I am faced with only two choices…DO something or DO nothing and doing nothing is NOT an option.  So I am UNFINISHED and so are all of my projects, ideas, and aspirations but it is in my state of disarray that God moves and shapes and molds me into His idea of perfection.  And maybe, just maybe that’s how I am supposed to be.