BOXED IN

"God is much less interested in right circumstances
than in right responses to whatever comes your way" 
Sarah Young

I have been struggling since last Friday with the topic of the post...partly because to me it is an admission of failure but mostly due to the fact that to write it down is to truly acknowledge the occurence.  However, my devotion this morning tackled the topic of perfection and it's illusions and I came to realize that is is not about the facade it's about the truth.

Last Friday the hubs met me for lunch with Faith in tow and to say that she was in a "mood" would be the understatement of the year.  She threw a full on screaming mimi right before I arrived, laying on the floor, flaying, crying as loud as possible, the whole nine yards.  It was so bad in fact that the restaurant workers gave her a toy to try and make the madness stop. 

By the time I walked in they were both seated in a booth with our food.  Faith's face was red with tear streaked cheeks and the hubs was not the happiest person I have ever seen, rightfully so.  After bringing me up to date on what had taken place we began discussing the need to break this pattern.  Grace is very easy going and willing to please, Faith is very determined and could care less about what you think as long as she gets her way and when she doesn't WATCH OUT.  We had always laughed about her temper knowing that problems were going to arise but after being slapped full on in the face with them it was time for action.

As I looked over at her, still whimpering in the corner (all because her daddy wouldn't let her hang on the rails) I began thinking that a large part of this was our fault.  She wasn't feeling well so we probably shouldn't have tried it.  She was cutting teeth so we probably shouldn't have tried it.  It was nap time so we probably shouldn't have tried it.  I voiced the thoughts that were racing through my head my honey looked at me and said "You can't just make excuses for her." 

He was right of course, this is also the child that will flail over the side of the grocery store cart when I won't give her the alcohol wipe that I just used to wipe the nastiness off with.  The child that will smack her sister in the head when she takes a toy that she wanted to play with and run around a restaurant instead of sitting in her chair.  It would be different if this was a one time occurrence but it was not, it was indeed one of many.

Still I couldn't shake the feeling that in truth these were typical two year old behaviors.  Now, I am not saying in any shape or form that they are okay but they are typical and the real problem was not the behavior it was the way it made us feel.  Anyone who is a parent can testify to the fact that is downright embarrassing to be with your child when this occurs.  Thoughts of running away or saying things like "I can't wait to take you back to your mom" float through your head.  Why?  We have all been there.  Is it because we were pious enough to truly believe that our child "Would NEVER act like that."   HA!

Stay with me here I know this getting long...

    I looked over at my husband and said the "The issue is that she is trying to break out of the box."  The box is literal of course but it's truth.  We carry around this pretty little box and lift the lid to show off what is inside.  Then when we put the lid back on and move about our daily lives until it becomes convenient to take the box out again.  The problems occur when our children no longer fit the box. 

Grace always did until recently.  Never before did we have to deal with issues of outburst in a public place, rarely did we deal with any backtalk or rebellion.  However, she is now testing those boundaries, asserting that she is fact her own person, with her own ideas, with her own tastes.  Good on her, bad on me for putting her in there to begin with.  Faith is already testing those boundaries and what will come I don't know but I do know that I am tired of the box. 

  As all of this was swirling around in my head a song from children's church came to mind.  You know the one..."If I had a little red box to put my Savior in."  And I started thinking about how many times we do this with God as well.  We try to put Him in a box and carry Him around to show off when things are going great.  Then put Him back in the box when we aren't proud of what's taking place in our lives only to search frantically for Him when things have gone so wrong that there is no way we can fix them on our own.

Although simple in concept the idea of destroying the boxes it is much more complex in reality.  Heaven knows I have looked at a the kid in Wal-Mart screaming because they can't get a toy and rolled my eyes.  And I too have tried to box God into the perfect little space in my life.  There when if I need Him, closed away when I think I can handle it on my own. 

Destroying the boxes means living life in spite of the embarrassment and perhaps lending a helping hand or encouraging to word to the mom of "that" kid (even if that day it happens to be you) and allowing God to be BIG, permeating every inch of your life not just the pigeon hole you typically delegate.  I know it isn't going to be easy but the rewards will be great so I am going to try it and am hoping you will try it with me.